If the Mayans Are Right

If the Mayan's are in fact right then we are all doomed.
Apparently, 6 million Americans truly believe that tomorrow is in fact the end of days.
Even some Russians are heading to the Cold War Bunker, to keep things on the safe side. Then it will be up to the Russians to rule the world (I hope I'm not alive for that.)
But what if tomorrow is the last bow?
The ultimate termination.
The final fling.
The closing sesame (that one doesn't work, but you get it).

But there are some things in particular I really wanted to know and I'll never get to find out if the world ends tomorrow. 

Will Lindsay Lohan ever go to jail for an extended period of time or just die?

Will she shrivel up and look like Betty White at the age of 26? 

This is really important for me to know.

What will Will and Kate's baby look like?

Will it have any of wild and crazy Harry's genes? What will they name it? Is it a boy or a girl so I can stop saying "it"? Sorry Jessica Simpson, no one cares about the full grown child-adult you will birth after your 18 month gestation period. 

How will Honey Boo Boo turn out as an adult?

I know she will be more successful and have more money than me, which makes me really love America, but how will she act? Will she continue to redneckonize? Will she birth a mini boo boo and have the child out of wedlock at the age of 16?

What will be the top song of 2013?

Ke$ha's "Die Young" was the top song of 2012. With lyrics like:

 Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah)

Take my hand, I'll show you the wild, side
Like it's the last night of our lives (uh huh)
We'll keep dancing 'til we die

She makes me wonder if she doesn't herself know something about the Apocalypse. 

Who will be in 50 Shades of Grey, the Movie?

Personally, I didn't read this book, but I know the gist. And I wanna know who's playing who. And why did the actors they think this was a good career move? Oh, money.

The Biebs.

Will he and Selena stay together? Will he get a new tattoo? If so where will he put it on his puny little body? What rapper will lose all street cred by working with him next? Also, where can I find the above jacket?

Will Instagram sell our pictures and I end up on a Billboard?

Look at this picture quality. How can it not? What will they sell them for? I just hope they use my really awesome photos for good instead of evil. Let's hope they don't turn into photos for ad campaigns on why not to do something. Don't drink: you may end up like this. 

Will the Kardashians rule the world? 

Why are these krazy kats still around? Why is it all about the K? Why do people women with no lives want to emulate them so much? Also, what product will they come out with next? How to Kreate a sex tape? I might buy that. 

So if this it is the end then good luck to you.
Do something crazy and get caught.

I will be in hell, that's where all my friends are, after all.