If the Mayans Are Right

If the Mayan's are in fact right then we are all doomed.
Apparently, 6 million Americans truly believe that tomorrow is in fact the end of days.
Even some Russians are heading to the Cold War Bunker, to keep things on the safe side. Then it will be up to the Russians to rule the world (I hope I'm not alive for that.)
But what if tomorrow is the last bow?
The ultimate termination.
The final fling.
The closing sesame (that one doesn't work, but you get it).

But there are some things in particular I really wanted to know and I'll never get to find out if the world ends tomorrow. 

Will Lindsay Lohan ever go to jail for an extended period of time or just die?
Will she shrivel up and look like Betty White at the age of 26? 
This is really important for me to know.

What will Will and Kate's baby look like?
Will it have any of wild and crazy Harry's genes? What will they name it? Is it a boy or a girl so I can stop saying "it"? Sorry Jessica Simpson, no one cares about the full grown child-adult you will birth after your 18 month gestation period. 

How will Honey Boo Boo turn out as an adult?
I know she will be more successful and have more money than me, which makes me really love America, but how will she act? Will she continue to redneckonize? Will she birth a mini boo boo and have the child out of wedlock at the age of 16?

What will be the top song of 2013?
Ke$ha's "Die Young" was the top song of 2012. With lyrics like:
 Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah)
Take my hand, I'll show you the wild, side
Like it's the last night of our lives (uh huh)
We'll keep dancing 'til we die

She makes me wonder if she doesn't herself know something about the Apocalypse. 

Who will be in 50 Shades of Grey, the Movie?
Personally, I didn't read this book, but I know the gist. And I wanna know who's playing who. And why did the actors they think this was a good career move? Oh, money.

The Biebs.
Will he and Selena stay together? Will he get a new tattoo? If so where will he put it on his puny little body? What rapper will lose all street cred by working with him next? Also, where can I find the above jacket?

Will Instagram sell our pictures and I end up on a Billboard?
Look at this picture quality. How can it not? What will they sell them for? I just hope they use my really awesome photos for good instead of evil. Let's hope they don't turn into photos for ad campaigns on why not to do something. Don't drink: you may end up like this. 

Will the Kardashians rule the world? 

Why are these krazy kats still around? Why is it all about the K? Why do people women with no lives want to emulate them so much? Also, what product will they come out with next? How to Kreate a sex tape? I might buy that. 

So if this it is the end then good luck to you.
Do something crazy and get caught.

I will be in hell, that's where all my friends are, after all.



  1. Oh Helene this post is amazing! If the end of the world is tomorrow...I do too wonder what would have happened to Lindsey Lohan! And, this may be my last chance to say, Hey thanks for being such a great blogging buddy! haha!

  2. Wow! Good questions...
    Oh Lindsey Lohan.... I don't even know what to say about her. Fifty shades of grey, read it, but am also curious who will be playing in the movie. It's gonna be weird seeing it on the big screen =T
    Selena and Biebs will always be together... forever.. I think! I hope! :)
    HAHA! Also, love your instagram portion.

  3. HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOUR BLOG. You are hilarious. Omgsh. The Beiber jacket! hahahaha

  4. Lol nice post. I hope the world isn't coming to an end on the 21st (I've got a plane booked for the 22nd !). I wonder too what's going to happen in 2013!

  5. Good questions.

    Lindsay should die , but won't. Like Charlie Sheen.

    I thought Bieber and Gomez already broke up.

    Ke$ha actually apologized for the lyrics in her song since it was pulled off the air since the shootings. She actually said she was forced to sing the song.

  6. started following you! i love your concerns about what we'll never know if the world ends. i wonder about lindsay too - how will her whole hot mess-ness finally end? and i am embarassingly guilty of watching the kardashians. i promise to cut back if the mayans spare earth! love the blog.
    -- jackiejade.blogspot.com

  7. If the kardashians could rule the world please go ahead and hit me about the head and face with a roll of barbed wire. Honey Boo Boo will probably end up Miss teen USA at the age of 22.

  8. Oh and Lindsay will do a movie playIng Honey Boo Boo.

  9. I love your posts. Bat shit crazy funny. Why is it that we don't live near each other? It really makes me sad.

  10. Haha! This is so hilarious! I read the 50 Shades Book and I wish they'd just cast the movie already.

    The Tiny Heart
    Dec. Group Giveaway!

  11. Love this post girl! And OMG LL in that picture...bless her heart she looks terrible!

  12. I agree with you about the russians.

    and Kate and Will's "it".

    and Honey Boo Boo.

  13. Real life though, I would totally buy the tape about how to kreate a sex tape.

  14. Oh La Lohan looks like a hot mess in that photo.

    I don't like the Ks, but I can't stop watching their show.

  15. This post legitimately made my morning! Thank you for that!

  16. Hahhaa- one of my fave posts I've read of yours EVER :) I want to comment on everything... but I'll try to be brief ;)

    First- how sad/pathetic is LindsLohan?! I was borderline obsessed w/ her in Parent Trap growing up, and she looks like a HAG now!

    Also- Biebs is way too pretty. Pretty! Haha!

  17. LMAO, this post is hilarious, just what I needed this morning :)

    For the record, LiLo (isn't that what people call her?) is totally going to be a shriveled up Betty White at the age of w/e/. She is awful! lol

  18. I love your blog! This is hilarious. I just can't believe Lindsey Lohan, it still makes me a wee bit sad because I just LOVED Parent Trap when I was a kid.

  19. You pretty much had me rolling! I was going to comment on one thing, then another and I pretty much want to say something about everything but don't have the time... at the end of the day, AMEN SISTER! hahaha WE think so much alike I love it.

  20. What a great way to start my morning!

  21. LiLo will never die. Too cockroachy. She will also never be incarcerated. She'll just be.

    God bless her.

  22. great questions! about the mayans: i do not trust a civilization that couldn't figure out the wheel. that's pretty basic.

  23. You seriously crack me up! You may be my newest obsession over the last few weeks hahaha...in a non-creepy way ;)

    I want them to make a 50 Shades movie, but I don't. Like, it'd just be porn and that's weird to go watch in a theater, unless Ian Sommerhalder is Gray. Just sayin'.

  24. It's mind boggling that people truly believe this. And if they're right, well, the jokes on us. But seriously, I can't wait to wake up on the 22nd and laugh. As for your questions, these are all need to know. This is why the world spins!

  25. as you have so nicely outlined, the world is well on it's way to hell in a big ass hand basket anyhoo. ugh. the kardashians. woof. and honey boo boo. yet another reason people think southerners are all idiots. i thought today was supposed to be the end of the world, and i was all excited that i was still alive when i woke up today. oops.

  26. people always tell me I look like khloe kardash. SO there is that. And Lilo may as well be plastic. Nothing is gonna get her.

  27. I'm just going to throw this idea out there....you need to pull a Carrie Bradshaw and get all your posts published in a book. Just an idea.

    The Kardashians will rule the world. They will. And that's a scary/exciting thought.

    I also want to know who is cast in 50 shades...haven't read it..but interested to see that.

  28. Oh my goodness, this was one hilarious post! HA!

  29. Oh you're giving Honey Boo Boo too much credit! 16?! I'm sure she'll be with child by the ripe old age of 13. And I can't imagine she'd ever stop redneckognizing. Let's be serious. Homegirl knows what she's doing.

  30. I love this! All very important questions.

  31. I love this post and your blog!

  32. The world won't end until at least another 1,007 years. I mean the rapture has to happen first. Then 7 years of tribulation + 1,000 year reign. THEN the second coming AND THEN the world will end. So until the rapture happens we still have at least 1,007 years. ;)

  33. I have seriously been trying to leave a comment all day but my ipad wont let me. That pic of Lindsay is ROUGH! I love what you said about Biebs. And I neeeeed to know what Kate's baby is like. I am kind of obsessed with her. Its weird...

  34. haha. these questions ARE all so important! i need to know! :)

  35. Such important questions that must be answered!! Oh please let Lindsey get locked up long enough for us all to forget about her craziness and she can start over like Britney. I must know what Will & Kate's baby (babies?) will look like! haha!

  36. that many people really believe this crap?? lol! so crazy!! And you do know that the kardashian's line at sears is called... the Kardashian Kollection... LOL!

  37. Hahaha hilarious. I'm pretty sure Lindsay already looks like a shriveled up old lady. And what is this about Jessica Simpson having an 18 month gestation period???

  38. Yes. To all of it. Especially Lindsay. The end of the world might be the best thing that has happened to her. Since Mean Girls anyway

  39. Yes!! This is the best post ever! haha

  40. so many important questions! we better live past tomorrow to find out :)

  41. Man, Lindsay Lohan is looking rough these days. I sure hope we're around long enough to watch Honey Boo Boo become Miss America

  42. poor, poor LiLo. homegirl is looking 50ish in that picture

  43. Honey Boo Boo..I wonder about her too. :)

    Well, in case the world doesn't end, I tagged you in this post: http://justasmalltowngirlsblog.blogspot.com/2012/12/5-wishes.html

  44. My question is...what time zone are they going by? Will it start in one hemisphere and make it's way around? If that's the case, it's already the end of the world here in Korea...and it looks pretty much the same...shocking

  45. I love this reflection, and I totally agree about the Kardashians and Honey Boo Boo as an adult!

    Sparkles and Shoes
    500 Follower Kate Spade Giveaway

  46. Bahaha!! I wonder if Li.Lo (sorry to lazy to spell out her name) will go to jail too? She should just go and get it over with!! Honey Boo-Boo I don't even want to know....And 50 shades...I am excited & at the same time dread the movie...XXX rating to say true to the book? Great questions and good thing we get to find out since the world didn't end :)

  47. Sorry to everyone who will get offended with what I have to say but, I am not a belieber (fan or believer of Justin Bieber) nor idolizes him. I don't why I see so many kids today trying to imitate the way Bieber looks, his fashion sense really is being looked up by youth today.

    Cody Newman


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