Dear Bachelor, I feel awkward

As you know, I watch the bachelor. 

I can't explain my love for this show. The concept is just so weird.

Girls literally clawing at each other for a man they barely know. 

Sean: you're easy on the eyes and seem like a decent human. But let's beef this bad boy up a little bit.

Tell the girls how you really feel. Make them squirm a little. (Or cry I don't care). 

Now, it's time for one on one dates and a group date (my personal favorite).

One armed Sarah has the first date and opens up about being one armed. Also she's already in love. Hold your horses girl. Let it be, I mean give it at least a week. 

Next we have a group date where the girls are entering in a modeling contest (of which I am sure they have ALL done before) and Kristy is ecstatic since she is a model. (You also better win this one GF.)

Big shocker: the Model Kristy wins. But does she care more about the competition than Sean? Hopefully.

I get excited as Sean and Lesley (I like her, she seems normal) sneak off for a chat but get annoyed when it's awkward. Keep up the convo people. 

Favorite line from the episode: "I'm vegan but I love the beef" Catherine says while looking at Sean's bod. Good line girl, did you come up with that or the producers? Sean laughs at this and now I feel awkward again.

Tierra has shown her crazy side in that she wants Sean to already treat her like she's Emily. But here's the thing: She's not Emily. I know, right?!

Kaite (the yoga instructor) feels the most awkward of them all (with the hair and everything) and decides it's time for her to leave (and spare herself from the rose ceremony).

Desiree gets the second one on one date and she is now my favorite. Although this date is the most awkward thing ever. (Also I am giving myself points every time I say awkward so there's that.) 

He pulls a prank on her about a painting falling in an art museum. No one is laughing (except for Chris Harrison, that sick bastard) and she's about to cry. 

No matter. Sean approves of the way she handled it and they hot tub it up. Duh.

It's time for the longest cocktail hour of your life as Sean must try and remember the girl's names and figure out which ones he can't stand the most. 

Awkward convos abound such as this from Robyn: 

"what kind of girl are you looking for, in terms of race", and he answers on cue- "I'm looking for my best friend." Robyn almost passes out from happiness.

Brooke and Diana are sent home and we feel fine about that since we forgot their names anyway (at least make it memorable, that's what I've learned from all of this). 

                             

Side note: Are you one of the many women affected by creepy guys? 

You know. the guys that just won't leave you alone so you give them a bogus phone number to feen them off?

WELL. The Bachelor has you covered! 

I am not lying. You can go here and get the number and Chris Harrison will break the news to them via a recording. Nice and easy. 
This is real life.

Also I wanna know: 

Do you prefer my bachelor recap on Wednesdays (so you can catch up or just have a better idea of the show?), Tuesdays? Or should I just shut up about this show altogether? Seriously would love to know your thoughts.